Take a moment for your new normal

Take a moment for your new normal

It might feel like there’s a lot wrong right now; restrictions on freedom, having to make more decisions than usual, more demands on your time if you are having to clean more, to cook more, to keep children entertained, or conversely; more time on your hands if you are in a situation of enforced separation from friends and family because you live alone.

You may also be a key worker carrying on with supporting a nation having a very different experience to those around you.

Whilst the virus has caused immeasurable upheaval, disruption and changed the way we live, I do keep hearing off clients that it’s allowing them to focus, or forcing them to focus on what truly matters to them. I also hear that although their world before may have been packed with chaos, pain and sadness, somehow, in the midst of all these changes things are a little calmer for some, and equally things are getting turned up for others too; life continues to be a mixed bag for everyone and on that much we can rely upon.

I highlight these differences because these differences existed before the virus too; one person’s pressure is another person’s antidote.

We can’t control the restrictions we face right now but we can use the time to hone in what we would like to scrap from our lives when we do start to build a ‘new normal.’ I say a ‘new normal’ because for some people the world has changed beyond recognition right now. What was normal last month no longer exists so I challenge you to consider:

• What do you want your ‘new normal’ to look like?
• Who do you want in your life?
• What can stay changed?
• What can you do to regain some of the things you might have lost?
• What priorities have changed for you now?
• If you’ve had discomfort in your own company; in spending time alone, what is it teaching you?

I blog a lot about asking the bigger questions or contemplating questions you just don’t have time for usually. I do this because although you aren’t in contact with these particular thoughts much; it’s an avoidance, it’s an acceptance of what is, without you really engaging in ‘Is this actually what I want for me?’ It’s routine that enforces this lack of engagement and it halts our imagination and creativity.

There’s little to no routine right now and it’s very hard for people to cope when they like control, structure and rigidity; these things help us function but when we hold on to these too tightly, we lose our individuality and we lose ourselves to autopilot.

So, much like I’d ask you to check out the evidence for negative thoughts about yourself, if can also be worthwhile to do the same with neutral thoughts and behaviours, in instances where you feel you might be on autopilot.

• How to these thoughts/ behaviours serve me?
• What are the benefits of acting/ thinking this way?
• Do I like who am I when I think this or do this?
• Do my thoughts and actions meet my own moral code?
• Do I like my friends?
• Do I like my job?

A little self-analysis right now of the everyday things can really open up your perspective to what is happening for you. Without reflection you can’t assess what it is that is making you sad, unhappy, joyful, smile or tearful. You’ll regain some control by changing what you can change. Use this isolation time to think about what you want, make a start on removing toxic and harmful people, situations, thoughts and behaviours in a bid to move to a less chaotic life, a more harmonious life and a new normal that benefits you. Take a moment for yourself.